San Diego Selfiequeen

Recently i attended a tamil wedding and i was explaining the rituals to my adult daughter .

The previous day function where the bride’s father makes a promise to get his daughter married at an auspicious hour . The promise should be from both sides. The bride family welcomes the groom’s family why not both sides welcome the guests??

The major onus is still on bride’s side. the groom side may arrange things but financial burden is still on girl’s side as portrayed by seer and other customs.

Early morning customs like Kasi yatirai is so out dated coz i do not understand that the bride’s father has to plead him to come marry his daughter and then the ultimate kanya daanam. i know no one wants to change the script and it is all just in the spirit etc but these are promises made around sacred fire and under god. Why are we not changing the practice?? the girl and boy agree to marriage, families jointly promise to marry them. No one is loosing anyone but gaining a son in law and daughter in law or son and daughter respectively. We may be liberated in our thoughts clothes but we are following these practices just blindly. What does it mean?? are we lying to the gods?? are we too scared to change the system?? No one is asking it but it is bizarre explaining these customs to my adult daughter. i will do no kanya daanam . Kanya daan takes you to heaven .. Really. Things to ponder. Time to update the marriage ritual!

who is with me??

#indianwedding

#tamilwedding

#hinduwedding

We all have pain ,sadness,struggles with weight appearance,finance ,health and what not. We are constantly bogged down with worries of what may or may not happen. We worry about family ,their health,their wellbeing.We are not happy every minute of the day. So why is social media is filled up with posts with smiles and best postures and best moments?? 

Well my explanation is facebook is like a photo album where you only keep the best moments safe. The struggles,the pain,the hardships we face kinda fade away from memory. We look back at our childhood and always caption it happy days.We did cry and fill up diaries and corners of the house to sulk in our miseries then but do we remember that??

Yes i do!! i remember the feelings just like all the happy memories.The reason we do not put all that on display is we worry about judgement.Okay a person who drinks can relate. Rest of you just play along or not.When you are at a high point and feel buzzed we blurt a lot of those repressed feelings or genuinely express how we feel or just let loose in that moment. The next day we wonder ,was i out of control?? They often say stay off social media at times of fun because it is better to enjoy the moment as is in its raw form instead of revisiting it again next day and form unnecassary feelings of fear  of judgement. People judge and judge . 

I absolutely hate being pictured when i am dancing because that is my letting go moment.I want to be vulnerable and just let go. I don’t want memories of bad pictures or silliness take away from the beauty of a trans like stage i get when i am senselessly swaying to the rhythm and beat .

Life is like a dance . Sometimes what u enjoy might look silly to others but if you enjoy it just keep on doing it . Perfection comes from practice . Perfection is also a perception at times.

Pain is real, Struggles are real and Friendship is real. Go find your friends who will not judge you for who you are what you do. Vent your true feelings. Be a shoulder to lean on. Be an effective listener. Be a source of support. Be vulnerable around them and vice versa.

let life flow,love freely,Experience everything  hate,anger,despair,depression,misery and struggles .In times  of  extreme  sadness never lose hope. When happy and content, be grateful. All feelings are not in our control but a positive outlook is.Embracing our pain and struggles is what keeps us real. Social media however is to me going to be a photo album i share with all. What is in it is real happy moments. When i am not so happy i am real too but that i reserve that for myself and my closest friends. If you have met me i am pretty frank in my opinions and thoughts.What you see is what you get.i have also learnt in life -the only opinion that really matters is the person who is on the other side of the mirror. Stay real stay positive even when you face negativity. 

 

One big area that needs change across the globe is Education. I am starting with India because I personally saw the lack of quality education despite continued efforts. I struggled to see where the gap was. Moreover, the disparity in educational opportunities for all children, especially girls seems to be dwindling

If we want to better this world, the first step is equal education for all people. Children are the future of this world  and in order to raise good citizens, we need to motivate them and engage them to stay in school. We need to take care of them by making sure that they have food, shelter, and clothing whuch are the basic necessities of a decent life.

I always knew early on that by believing and working towards change you can make a difference. Every small step we make today can promise us a better tomorrow.

One such organization is Aim for Seva. They are already working towards this cause. I joined this organization to be part of the change. Your donation ensures that another child will get to live a life without fear of suffering the plights of poverty. Instead, they get to focus on getting an education, so they can one day give back to their community.

In 2017 San Diego Aim For Seva  efforts will fund a girls hostel in Thennampattu Village, Tamil Nadu, which will help educate 120 girls from surrounding villages. To support our efforts and more information on Antra Yatra, our upcoming show on Nov 12, 2017 please visit.

San Diego

Our sincerest gratitude, the AIM for Seva Team

 

 

 

 

What is this term?? Well i see a lot of it with the advent of social media it is on the rise. Let me try to define it. When people are trying hard to be who they are not. Trying to portray an image that is not their own. Fake essentially means not original. People are copying the originality of others in making a fake world for themselves. How does it feel psychologically?? Well it is not a good diagnosis. These kinds of people are generally depressed and are very insecure. They are the ones- when you say something inteligent will turn around and say ,you know what i was just thinking that because they have nothing original to add. I believe when you see such people should you run or try to help. Well unless you are a mental health Doctor you cannot help them. You can definitely distance yourself if it bothers you or simply ignore them. These are the kind of people who feel the need to say : I am out on a date but no selfies.  No one really cares what you do!! Stop inventing lies and going extra lengths to cover up your lies because you are slowly losing it. They do not appreciate others good fortune or friendships. Too much fakeness only gets worse. If you think you are not fake don’t be. There are many profiles on facebook that are blank. Many have no idea what a snapchat is or instagram. Dosen’t mean they don’t hv lives. It means they are shy to share.I also have come across reclusive people who think people posting too much stuff are just fake. Well you need to be expert to know what is original and whats not.Do you have time to do that ?? Hopefully not or if you do!! Dwell and share you theories.well you just come across some you can tell!! I just felt i hv formed a theory based on my personal experience!! Share your thoughts!! It is a general topic not aimed at anyone😆😆.

Life was always good because I choose to be happy. I will listen to friends because I want to and I try to help. To me every problem has a solution waiting to be found.

For a longtime my life for almost a decade was filled up with negative and low emotional quotient kinda people. I had nothing really in common except may be the fact I had a kid. I got tangled up in the world of interfering busy bodies. I felt trapped and emotionally disturbed. It was just stress build up due to petty jealousies.

i had no idea that good friends take advantage of you. Ok not delving too much two and a half years ago I distanced myself from all this negative drama and started enjoying my life my family and focusing on my career etc.life has been good.

i still feel the pull of these streets that I never want to revisit. You know how you have a terrible nightmare and you wake up not wanting to go back to sleep because you are afraid the nightmare might reoccur. When you live in the same place every now and then you are bound to pass through them. I just have to remind myself not to stop.

There are some people who think I need to move on and not look back. It is a part of your life that you can never come back to.

I believe that I have no right to judge others.However more often I feel that people so easy to judge you without knowing you.

I am afraid a certain kind of people are a red flag. The kind that talk too much about themselves and the world around them sucks. Sooner than later you realize that they are the ones sucking up all the air .

Walk away fine. Take advantage of others before you walk away just shows a side that no one will miss you and call you good riddance.

Well it is the day after Oscars . We are in the year 2016 where people can fly on hover boards but we are still battling the same issues of discrimination and racism. What have we achieved after so many years since civil war. Inequality and injustice still there. We cannot create equals but atleast let’s not be racist . Why were black films snubbed?? May be they were not good enough. Have an unbiased just watch the movies and vote!! Or show your criteria. What’s up with having a black host?? Chris Rock  rocked it for his film fraternity. He was hitting his blows covered in soft furry glove. What is the point of boycotting ?? Sit home and give that prestigious job again to a white guy and talk to press?? Be logical!!Film makers take note of what has been said and make a difference!!

xoxo

Selfiequeen

 Love is a feeling that is above all. To love someone is the greatest feeling of all. If you ask someone to define love many might get stumped or give totally different definitions.

Love is a simple feeling that  can transform in to complex fast. Love is love !! It is  an invisible bond between two people that is more powerful than any weapon possible. There is a love that parents feel towards a child and a child feels towards parents . Then there is this a Romantic love which I want to try to define .

i think for the longest time I have been in love with love. The first love that happens around the 12-14 year  is more of a crush. Since until that point you have not felt this feeling towards someone. Just one glimpse of that person could keep you happy for days.

i think I fell in to my first crush just because the other girls I hung out with said they all had crushes. Yes peer pressure !! Clearly that could not be love.He was so handsome like a movie star and he had looked at me a few times and my friends noticed it. You don’t realize what love is till you are in it. You feel you cannot breathe. I am married to my love but I did not know how much until one defining moment.i might write another post talking about my love story because it would take over this post. Today when I look back I think I love  him way more . It might not be that mushy poetry writing kinda love expressed in greeting cards. It is more in everyday caring about each other. We are both extremely passionate people who argue  and fight for our respective point of view. We agree in the end not because we have to but we want to. Love is the greatest high you can ever get. No amount of alcohol or drugs can get you to this higher plane. Love when not reciprocated can push you to the lowest point in life as well. Sometimes people feel trapped in another person’s love. What does that mean. I feel that you should love someone and let them be. They love you back is their prerogative . If you trapped someone that is unhealthy obsession. Being in love  makes you argue and fight because you care so much it actually hurts. Love infatuation obsession are all parts of how simple gets complex. We need balance in our lives by having individuality and self-respect.Valentines day is celebrated across the globe as a day for lovers expressing their love in flowers gifts and what not. Some people want to make a point by saying a massacre took place that day. I say you can say a prayer for their souls but any day that celebrates this greatest feeling in the world should be observed. When you walk across restaurants movie theaters , all you see is lovers hand in hand . Where can you find so much positivity ?? I love the month of february. Love is about giving unconditionally and letting go as well. There is a saying “it is better to be with the person who loves you if you can’t be with the person you love” Strange but if someone loves you that is the biggest form of flattery. Love someone if you haven’t already. It is totally worth it. Celebrate love often in new ways.

xoxo

“Take selfies with one you love and make memories ”

selfiequeen

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